I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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