It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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