Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
