Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
