I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
