you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
