I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
