yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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