guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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