so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you win again, gameday.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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