I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
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i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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