so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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