Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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