I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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