You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
