"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
