you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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