Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize