some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
