I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
