Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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