we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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