I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
