How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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