You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
