Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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