That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
