youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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