Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
