Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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