Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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