I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
