I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
