you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
