Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
