i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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