went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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