The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Found your dick twin last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize