I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
