If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
