She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
please don't ironically join a cult
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