cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
