did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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