I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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