if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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