I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize