I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
