she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
