My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
