she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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