Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
