I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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