I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
