but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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