What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
