Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
