Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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