8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
